Have you ever known someone who is just a strong person?

The kind of person that always seems to have it together and no matter what happens they are always smiling? Well I’d like to tell you about such a person. Her name is Cheryl Lightner.

I met Cheryl over 15 years ago and from the moment we met we were friends. She is the type of friend that would do anything in the world to help you. She was my “go-to” person when I was looking to get Honest, no BS advice. I knew, without a doubt she would give me her honest opinion. She was not the type that sugar coats things. Some people may find this approach offensive. I personally found it refreshing.

Cheryl was the type of person who could always make you smile. She always had a look on her face like she was up to something which is probably why we got along so well. There were times over the years when months would go by without us talking but whenever we got on the phone it was like we never missed a beat. Our conversations would range from family to business to life in general. We would laugh so hard sometimes my stomach would hurt. Cheryl is the only women I have ever met that could actually embarrass me in a conversion make me say “OK, Stop! I don’t need to hear anymore!”

Cheryl was a successful self made person with an outlook on life that was always positive. She was always on the go and ready for the next adventure. I’ll never forget, one day she called me and said can you help me? I just bought a boat and I’m a little nervous about driving it by myself for the first time. Cheryl never did anything half ass, she went all in or not at all. When most people decide to buy a boat they usually start out with something small and then move up. Well Cheryl started out with a 34′ Twin engine yacht. I went to the marina and we went out on her boat. I showed her a few basic things and she said alright, I got it, I’ll take over now and that’s just how she did things. No Fear, No hesitation!

About 6 years ago I couldn’t get in touch with her for a month or so. She finally called me back and told me where she had been. I’m waiting to hear about her latest adventure when she says to me, “I’ve been in the hospital for the last few weeks. Get this, I have cancer. They found this tumor the size of a basketball and I had to go in for an emergency surgery.”  Without missing a beat she says to me, “So what have you been up to?”

Stunned I said, Whoa, back up! What did you just say? She repeats herself with a tone in her voice that was just so normal, I on the other hand couldn’t believe what I was hearing. She said, “They say I have Peritoneal Mucinous Carcinomatosis, it’s a rare cancer that originates in the appendix, Aint that some shit! Leave it to me to get a rare type of cancer”

For the last 6 years Cheryl lived. She worked, traveled, sailed and enjoyed life. You would never have suspected that she was sick or even felt bad, let alone had cancer.

Cheryl never wanted anyone to worry she was always concerned about how others felt. Just before this past Christmas I get an email from Cheryl, It was an email that she had sent to all of her friends. She wanted to let everyone know that the cancer had returned. She said it had invaded her liver and the course of action was still to be determined.

I spoke with Cheryl on the phone and she didn’t want to discuss details, I told her I loved her and she was in my prayers.

I spoke to Cheryl a few weeks ago. I had left several messages and she finally called me back. She was not her usual self but I’ll never forget that conversation. She said, Vic, I’m tired and I’ve had enough. I told her I loved her and she said I love you too. I asked if I could do anything and of course, she said no.

Last week I was out of the country on a cruise. Upon my return I had learned that my friend had passed away. I knew the last time we spoke would probably be our last. I feel fortunate to have had such a great friend in my life. That kind of friend is rare and for me, well let’s just say that she was one of a kind. I know Cheryl had lots of friends in her life and she had a way of making each one of us feel special. If you were blessed enough to have Cheryl as a friend, you know exactly what I mean.

The world will miss you Cheryl but I know that you are in a better place and I’m sure you are having fun and making friends. Save me rocking chair on the front porch.

Cheryl was a giving person and never wanted others to worry about her. If you care to help in the fight to cure cancer, please make a donation in Cheryl’s name the information is below.

I will miss you my friend….

Donations can be made to:
The Institute for Cancer Care
c/o Armondo Sardi, M.D.
Mercy Hospital
301 St. Paul Street
Baltimore, MD 21202